Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Our Birth Mother Letter


Dear Birth Mother,
We want you to know that we think your decision to choose life and find an adoptive family for your baby is beautiful, honorable and amazing.  And that you have chosen to read our letter tells us that you are considering us as your baby’s family.  We want to let you know that should you choose us, we would be honored to adopt your baby and raise it as our own.  We want to be there for the baby as it grows, to love it, encourage it and help it become the man or woman God created it to be.   

We are both mentally and physically healthy; however, we are unable to have biological children, so we decided to grow our family through adoption.  We married September 2007 and began the process of becoming adoptive parents shortly thereafter.  Within two years we were blessed with our first two children, Flora who was 10 months old and two months later, Gavin who was two months old.  Flora and Gavin were both born under special circumstances, and although some would be daunted by this, we were not.  We know that every child deserves a home with people who love them, believe in them and will help them reach their fullest potential.  Flora and Gavin are now 4 and 3 years old.  Both are very happy, healthy and thriving children who astound all those whom they meet.  Because of the amazing way Flora has thrived, her biological family also came to us when another child was to be born.  We are now guardians of Flora’s biological brother, Ian whom we were blessed with when he was 14 days old.  He is now 16 months old, and his adoption will be final by summer’s end. 
Although we have a wonderful family now, we feel that our family is not yet complete, and our heart’s desire is to adopt another baby.  When our adoption agent spoke with us about adopting another child who is “other than Caucasian”, we were very humbled and excited that she would come to us because we have a great love and respect for other cultures and we believe that love has no “color”.  We live in a small, culturally diverse town which includes African American, Latino and Asian families, many of whom are good friends of ours.  Just as we strive to do for Gavin, we would ensure your baby knows it rich heritage and culture. 

We would love to meet with you, if that is your desire. Or if you are more comfortable, we could exchange information over the telephone or through letters and pictures. We are also willing to maintain a relationship with you, even after the baby is born. If you select us as parents, we would be happy to send you pictures and letters to let you know what the child is doing at each age. We would even consider a more open relationship if you are comfortable with that. Of course, we also want to respect your privacy and the life ahead of you.
We wish you the best whatever you decide. You are in our prayers. 

Sincerely,

Jode and Kelley
 
Our Birth Mother Portfolio as seen on Shutterfly.  Hard copies of this will be given to the birth mother when she reads our letter.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

"Dear Birth Mother"

I'm struggling with my "Dear Birth Mother" letter.  It's supposed to be a letter from Jode and me telling her about us, our home and why we would be a good choice as adoptive parents.  But, my heart is grieving.  Maybe it's because I was there once.  As a 17 year old, newly engage but not yet married, Christian girl, I found myself with an unplanned pregnancy.  I chose to marry and raise my son, but it was not easy.  We struggled, he and I, because the marriage did not last.  Despite my efforts that baby is now a wonderful man, husband and father and I adore him still.  So my heart breaks for her and the decision she will have made by the time she sees our picture portfolio and reads our birth mother letter.  I want to hold her and let her know, that it's going to be ok, that she will always have a part of our hearts as well as our prayers because how could she not when we look into the precious face of the angel she will entrust us with.  I want to hold her as much as I want to hold the child that will become ours.  I want to calm her fears and let her know that her baby will be loved, cherished, taught and given an amazing life, the type of life she wants to, but is unable to, give. 

So I sit here, staring at the screen through tear filled eyes, and all I can say is "Dear Birth Mother". 

Friday, May 3, 2013

All things "possible"

Since my last post we have found out that our home study will be approved for three children.  That means that adopting the sibling group of four is out of the question.  However, we were told if we decided to, the girls could be adopted by themselves.  That grieved us, but understanding how difficult it would be to place the children together, we were considering it.  However, we received some close-up pictures of the girls which revealed something we suspected.  The oldest girl is definitely older than originally presumed.  Since experience has taught us that adopting out of birth order is not advisable, we could not, in all fairness to her and our oldest daughter, bring an older child into our home.  We are praying that their mother and father will be found very soon.

The baby boy which we were asked about has not yet been relinquished.  There is still a "possibility", and our "Dear Birth Mother" letter along with a family portfolio is being presented to her.  Our agency also asked us about the "possible" placement of a little boy in California whose family is not able to handle his multi-cultured ethnicity.  They know that's not an issue in our family.

AND, if that's not enough possibilities, I received an email from Florida regarding a sibling group, twins born in 2010 and a little brother born 2011.  This too is a "possible" placement and one which we will consider if it comes to fruition.  The younger child has a hearing/speech impairment which is what we had prepared for with our Colombian princess, and both sides of our family, including Jode's mother, have numerous sets of twins.

In the meantime, we received the "final" copy of our home study today for proofing.  With a few revisions it is now ready to be sent to SCDSS for their approval.  I'm told this could take up to a month since they are lean staffed.  Our dossier is complete except for approved h.s. and immigration approval letter.  Once we have those in hand, everything will be sent to our adoption agency. 

I've learned this week that anything is "possible" when it comes to adoption.  And nothing is final, until it's actually final.  It's late and it's been a long week.  That's all for now. 

Kelley