Saturday, May 11, 2013

"Dear Birth Mother"

I'm struggling with my "Dear Birth Mother" letter.  It's supposed to be a letter from Jode and me telling her about us, our home and why we would be a good choice as adoptive parents.  But, my heart is grieving.  Maybe it's because I was there once.  As a 17 year old, newly engage but not yet married, Christian girl, I found myself with an unplanned pregnancy.  I chose to marry and raise my son, but it was not easy.  We struggled, he and I, because the marriage did not last.  Despite my efforts that baby is now a wonderful man, husband and father and I adore him still.  So my heart breaks for her and the decision she will have made by the time she sees our picture portfolio and reads our birth mother letter.  I want to hold her and let her know, that it's going to be ok, that she will always have a part of our hearts as well as our prayers because how could she not when we look into the precious face of the angel she will entrust us with.  I want to hold her as much as I want to hold the child that will become ours.  I want to calm her fears and let her know that her baby will be loved, cherished, taught and given an amazing life, the type of life she wants to, but is unable to, give. 

So I sit here, staring at the screen through tear filled eyes, and all I can say is "Dear Birth Mother". 

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