International v. Domestic

Some of you have asked several questions about us adopting internationally. I wanted to put it all down in writing, so you can see it and share with others who may ask.

1.  Why are we pursuing International rather than Domestic adoption?

•  There are over 5000 SC families waiting for children under the age of 5.  We have been blessed to have three under five which I have been told "just never happens".  There is supposedly a 3-5 year waiting period.  Asking for another one would be selfish. 

• Those in foster care that need adopted right now are usually over the age of 7 and most over age 10.  After experiencing several foster placements of children older than Flora, we discovered something we thought was unique to us, but upon further investigation, found that it was usual. 

• Flora is our oldest child, and experience has shown us, as well as what we have recently read which substantiates it, that adopting a child older than the current oldest child, who is used to being the oldest, usually causes problems.  We thought it was just Flora, but it’s actually quite documented.  It’s called “disrupting the birth order” and as odd as it sounds, it happens whether the child is adopted or not.  It usually affects the oldest child, but not so much the younger or middle children. 

 
2.  Why choose Eastern Europe for International adoption?

• We only qualify to adopt from a hand full of countries because of our age and divorce history.  Every country has different parental parameters which they will or will not accept.

• Of the countries for which we do qualify, Reeces Rainbow had several adorable children in Eastern Europe which won our hearts. We are thrilled to be pursuing Caius and Hattie.  We very  much look forward to bringing them home!!

3.  Why special needs?

• Why not?  Like Jode says, they are all children in need of parents.

I hope this helps some of you who question our sanity! ;-)
 
Love you,
Kel

Domestic and International concurrently

Eighteen months ago we were blessed with this precious boy.  Being Flora's bio brother, their extended family asked if we would adopt him as well.  This time it was to be a private adoption. We are blessed to have an open adoption with their extended family and in turn they adopted us. 

 

Today we had the termination of parental rights (TPR) hearing.  Both bio parents were notified some weeks ago  of the hearing but unfortunately their lifestyles being as they are, the bio father did not get an attorney appointed until last week.  You guessed it.  He asked for a continuance so that he could actually talk to his client at some point. 

 

Here in the great county of Edgefield we have circuit judges who are only here every few months.  Because of that, it may be the new year before we go back to court to finally have this hearing.  Frustrating for sure, but we know in this adoption, as in all of our adoptions, God is still in control and He will make it all work out in His time. 

 

We love this boy.  He's an amazing sweetie and definitely has our hearts. 

 

Our international adoption is in a waiting stage.  Our next step is an appointment to have our finger prints done and approval from immigrations.  We do expect to hear from them this week mostly because I plan to call and bug them until I find out when our finger print appointment happens! =)  Once we have immigration approval, that approval will go to Eastern Europe and then our entire dossier will be submitted to the governing authorities for review and approval.  Not too much longer and we'll be there.  Which leads me to financing.

 

We still need about $12,000 to be fully funded for our international adoptions and this new turn of events with our domestic adoption will take additional funds.  We're doing all we can and ask that you prayerfully consider helping us financially.  Of course your prayers are always welcome too!  Our donation button can be found on the side of this blog.  And here's a direct link to it as well: http://reecesrainbow.org/60090/sponsorrobinson-4  All donations are appreciated and of course are tax deductible.  Thank you in advance for your help.

 

Blessing to you!

Jode and Kelley

Dictates of Man

Monday we received our apostilled, final approved home study.  I have to admit I was shaking when I opened the envelope.  This final home study has been a long time coming.  You know how it is when you want something so bad that you're almost afraid that it will never happen?  That's how things had gotten with our home study.  It seemed no matter what hoops we jumped through, it just wasn't enough. 

 

As I returned from the post office, having just mailed our home study to the next family who will be traveling to Eastern Europe, I was feeling somewhat giddy and thankful because we had finally received our home study exactly the way we wanted it and in accordance with the governing authorities of the country from which we are adopting.  Nothing more. Nothing less. Exactly what we needed.  There were no additional requirements from an agency which thought it could make decisions concerning our family and on behalf of the governing authorities!  Then it hit me!  

 

Our home study experience reminded me of how our relationship with our Lord and Savior should be. It should be a personal relationship. It should not be one full of dictates which are imposed by other's who think they know better than we!  We do not require, nor do we want, someone else in the middle trying to control the situation.  How could someone believe themselves wiser than a husband and wife who have prayerfully considered and are certain they are following the calling of God on their lives? We trust that He will lead us and guide us into all spiritual truths governed by the guidance of His holy Word and Holy Spirit.  We also trust that if it is not His will, He will not allow it to happen.   

 

I'm so glad our home study, like our relationship with our Savior, is exactly what we need with no additional dictates of man.   Those dictates were legalistic, controlling and not required.  They held us in bondage  to another's opinion - another's dictates.   All the grief, all the heart ache, all the jumping through hoops was not necessary.  Once we decided to go with another person who aligned their efforts with ours and the governing authorities, everything went smoothly and quickly.  Imagine that.  Matthew 11:30 says "My yoke is easy and My burden is light".  When we align ourselves with His will it's amazing how things fall into place.  In other words, if it don't fit, don't shove it.  I have a tendency to beat a dead horse long after everyone else has said walk away.  God allows me to put myself through situations now and then.  When I do, it makes me even more thankful when I come out on the other side and say "WOW! Look what God did!"

I'm so thankful for wisdom and new direction which has landed us exactly where we needed to be!

We're coming babies; we're almost there!

Paper Chase Almost Complete . . . for now

Thank you all for your prayers and for continuing to pray.  We are almost through with the paperwork required for this side of the world.  There will be more once we get to Eastern Europe. 

 

It looks like we may be traveling in December, which will fit well into Jode's school schedule.  It's going to be very cold there, and  I'm not a cold weather kinda gal.  This will be interesting.  It also means more luggage for more clothing.  Living here in South Carolina, it never gets very cold.  Sure we get snow occasionally but rarely.  I don't know that we really have the proper attire for this trip but we can layer . . . lots of layers.  I want to be warm enough to at least enjoy the snow a little. 

 

We've been chatting with some families who have been to the regions from which we are adopting and getting some good ideas of what to anticipate.  As we get closer, I'm sure we'll take notes on where to go and where not to go, where to eat and where not to eat.  There's so much to think about, which is why I'm so glad I've gotten involved with so many wonderful people who have already been there and done that. 

 

In the meantime, I've been grant writing.  I've never tried this before, but after the first couple, they get easier.  For those of you who don't know, there are agencies and ministries which feel it's important to help those of us who are doing our best to rescue those who could easily be referred to as "the least of these".  Least as in the smallest and most helpless, but certainly not least as in unimportance. 

 

These babies need families and God lays on each parent's heart the desire to adopt certain ones.  It's amazing to watch.  I will see a child and think "Oh, my goodness.  How sad."  knowing that I am not called to be that child's mother, and then someone else will choose that child to be their very own!  Then I can see another child and know in my heart of hearts that child was created, even on the other side of the world, to be ours.  Such miracles God can do in our hearts if only we let him.  The amazing thing is, we are all called to pray for them and do according to James 1:27 and in doing so, we will fulfill Matthew 25:40.

 

Our next steps will be biometrics which is a fancy word for fingerprinting, and then we wait for USCIS (immigrations) approval for us to adopt.  That approval form will be apostilled and sent to Eastern Europe to join up with the rest of our paper work.  It will be the last piece we need to send.  Then we wait for approval from the country, and wait for a date to travel.  This kinda reminds me of the military - I did a lot of hurry up and wait then too.  I think both experiences have/had their merits, but somehow I just know I'm going to enjoy the outcome of this experience so much more!

 

 

Adoption Brain! Who Knew???

 

Who knew, right?  I mean, I've known with each adoption, especially when expecting Ian, I went through what appeared to Jode and me as pregnancy symptoms including morning sickness, dizziness, fatigue and weight gain.  But when "adoption brain" hit this week you could have knocked me over with a feather.  I couldn't believe it.  Not me, the one who's so organized, the ultimate administrator.  Wow!  It hit me like a brick.  Now, not only am I double checking everything I do, I'm still fretting over whether it's correct once I hit "send"!   Now I'm wondering when this stops and hoping desperately it's at least as soon as all our paperwork is submitted.

Speaking of, we had to make a tough decision this week when the agency we have been working with for our homestudy once again made unrealistic, not based on law or regulation, requirements of us.  After quite some time of jumping through every hoop they put in front of us just to get our homestudy completed, we finally had enough!  We are now finalizing our homestudy with a certified investigator rather than an agency.  Had I known this initially, we would have gone this route in the first place.

For those of you adopting from a non-Hague country, according to the USCIS web-site, you have the option of using a certified investigator.  The cost of this is about 1/4 of what you pay using an agency.  I don't know about you, but that means a lot to me.

I found our certified investigator by searching for "SCDSS certified investigator" which then lead me to a page with every county in SC.  I clicked on our country and low and behold the Social Worker who maintained our foster care license for the past five years, was on that list.  She's also become a family friend so we will definitely recommend her to anyone else in this great state looking for a home study. 

Your continued prayers as we continue on this journey to bringing precious babies home are appreciated. 

With love,
Jode, Kelley and kids,

 

Actually, We're Downsizing

A year ago this month, Jode and I had worked six months, spent many hours and over $30,000 to prepare our home to adopt seven children we had previously fostered.  We had three kids rooms created which could sleep all ten kids comfortably, and I must say, they were adorable.  The whole house had been rearranged.  The den became our bedroom, our bedroom became the boys' nursery, the nursery became the girls' room, the future-kitchen become the dining room, the dining room become the living room and the small back-porch-kitchen gained some amazing cabinets and counter tops created from heart-of-pine barn wood, a new stove and a much larger refrigerator.  It was awesome, and we accomplished so much in a short amount of time.  However, it was not to be.

It seems that, as teens do, one of the two oldest children (ages 13 and 15) said we had too many rules.  At the age of 13 here in the great state of South Carolina, a child can make the decision as to whether they want to be adopted and by whom.  So the one teen made the decision for the whole group, and they were placed with another family.  We were devastated, but thankful we knew why it happened.  The irony is, we didn't have a list of "rules" for our foster kids until that particular group of kids moved in with us.  You know, things like "If it's not yours don't touch is unless you ask" because one of them had the tendencies of a ferret.  But life moved on, they continue to email and text us, and we pray for them and their parents. 

So keeping in mind that we planned, made preparations and put everything in place to accommodate ten children, we now find ourselves with way too many beds in the children's rooms.  So tonight we began down sizing.  The rose colored triple bunk bed is now in Gavin, Ian and Caius's room ready to be painted John Deere green.  Ian still has his crib, but will most likely be out of it by the time Cauis is home at which time Caius can use it until he no longer needs it.  The small captains bed Gavin slept in will go into the shed to be sold as soon as we're able to get our yard sale together. Flora's room now only has two twin beds in it and a nice corner set up for school and homework.  It's large enough that should Hattie still need a crib, we can pull our extra one into the girls' room and still have plenty of room to play. 

I said all that to say this, for those of you who are wondering why in the world we would adopt two more kids at once, this is nothing compared to seven at once.  Five total kids is much less than ten total.  Actually, we're downsizing.

Little Princess

In my last post we announced that we were looking to bring home a little girl along with our precious Caius.  We found her. I'll officially announce her and show her picture in a few days.  Right now we need to update our family sponsor page.  It took a bit to get everything arranged, and we finally got approved yesterday.  She's not in the same region as him, but not too far away.  Her being in a different region though, means increased costs. 

You can see from our fund raising thermometer that we're going to need about $12,000 in addition to that which we need to bring Caius home.  We talked about her, and look elsewhere, and then talked about her and tried looking elsewhere, and then researched more about her, and asked more about  little girls elsewhere, but we always came back to her.  She's a pretty little thing and about the size of Caius although she is a couple years older.  She, Ian and Caius will be triplets, but you can rest assured, she, like Flora, will be a girly, girl! 

Jode and I have always believed big!  We figure God is most pleased when we believe Him for that which others would think impossible.  We tell our giants how big our God is and not our God how big the giants are. 

All the paperwork is almost complete.  I'll be so happy when it is.  We've begun grant writing to help raise funds and are hoping to have a huge yard sale with the help of our church family.  Still, any help you can give us by donating to our account via the side button to the right of this page, would be most appreciated.  If you're international, not in the US, you can donate via paypal and it will do the currency conversion for us. 

Speaking of, a shout out for whoever it is in Croatia that's reading this blog.  That's amazing. 

Please keep the prayers coming.

With love,
Kelley